Swagger Jagger

Whilst I stand by my defence of “current” music a few weeks ago, every so often a song comes along that is so soul crushingly awful, it drains all goodwill that you hold towards the current generation of musicians.

And so we have “Swagger Jagger”, the first single from X-Factor “star” Cher Lloyd. And when I say X-Factor it’s the predictable and dull Simon Cowell sponsored “talent contest” and not the comic book about either the original X-men, the government sponsored mutant team or the mutant detective agency (depending on which decade you were reading X-Factor in).

So we have Cher Lloyd, looking like Cheryl Cole on crystal meth, “singing” along to the tune of “Oh my darling Clementine” – just like Huckleberry Hound. And believe me, you’d prefer to hear the blue Hanna-Barbera dog singing off-key rather than listen to this drivel. She makes Rebecca Black look like Alicia Keys.

Oh, and I’m aware of my over use of speech marks, but I think they’re legitimate in reference to her “singing”, her being a “star” and X-Factor being a “talent contest”.

I don’t like to throw the word around in jest, but after hearing this, I felt like my ears had been raped.