Bad Horror Movies

So on Saturday, I ended up watching some bad horror movies with some friends. The highlight being "Night of the Demons", starring Shannon Elizabeth and Edward Furlong.


Needless to say it was badly acted, poorly scripted and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Edward Furlong has not aged well since T2 though.


But hey, it's not Hallowe'en without a bad horror movie, right?

Quote of the Week: Redux

This week's "Quote of the Week" came from a conversation with my wife Jane.

Each month, when Jane's girlie magazine arrives (be it Glamour or Red), we play twenty questions with the aim of the game being for me to work out who is on the front cover that month. Normally Jane can only respond with Yes or No answers.

Jane: OK, guess who's on the cover this month
Me: Erm, is she an actress?
Jane: (Long Pause) Barely.
Me: Is it Kristen Stewart?
Jane: Yes.

MI4 Rises...

...in my estimation at least.

Not because it has The Cruiser in it. Not because it features Simon Pegg. Not because they’ve roped in Jeremy “Hawkeye” Renner. But because they’ve announced that they’re going to be showing a prologue for “The Dark Knight Rises” before “MI4”.
Now I’m sure I could watch it online within days of its release without having to fork out for a film that I had only a passing interest in, but that’s not the point. It’s fraking Batman. It needs to be seen on the big screen. Seeing Thor’s hammer at the end of Iron Man 2 wouldn’t have had the same impact if I saw it for the first time on my laptop.
Either way, it’s a good move by the studio to get bums on seats for a film whose success would’ve been questionable. It’s just a shame that I’m more interested in the “extra feature” at the beginning than the film itself. And let’s face it, even if MI4 is amazing, after a scene-setter for the final Nolan Bat-feature, it’s going to look pretty shoddy.
Just saying.

Buffy Ye Olde Vampyre Slayer

So apparently, Joss Whedon is doing Shakespeare now.

Firstly, awesome. Secondly, where has he found the time whilst he's filming The Avengers?

It seems the play he has settled on is "Much Ado About Nothing" and he's cast Buffy/Angel alumni Alexis "Wesley" Denisof and Amy "Fred" Acker. Oh and other Whedonverse stars include Reed Diamond (awesome porn name), Fran Kranz and Tom Lenk. And who can forget Nathan Fillion (certainly not my wife).

I look forward to this with baited breath. Though obviously not as much as The Avengers.

Red Alert

I'm a massive Kevin Smith fan. I love the View Askewniverse, I modelled my retail career on the film Clerks, I love his comic books ("Quiver" was what made Green Arrow relevant again) and I've even seen him live.


Which is why his last few films have been a bit of a disappointment. Jersey Girl was too bland, Clerks 2 was rehashing old ground (but I liked the old ground so I didn't mind that much) and Cop Out was just a bit dull (but he didn't write it so no wonder).

So it is with great delight that I can report on just how much I enjoyed Red State. A complete departure from Smith's earlier work, it's edgy (by God is it edgy), it keeps you guessing and has some genuinely uncomfortable moments.

I won't reveal too much about the plot, beyond the fact it's being marketed as a horror - which is somewhat misleading as I'm not sure that I could pin it down to any one (or five) genres. John Goodman is brilliant as always and Melissa Leo (who's clearly in everything now) is squirm-inducingly excellent.

A thoroughly gripping watch which proves that Smith can be versatile as a director. Like Clerks was, it's edgy, but in an entirely different way. Smith seems to do his best work when he sticks to his indie roots. 

More of this please Kevin.

Alpha Dog

In the wake of "Heroes" (great season one, awful season four - totally cancelled), "No Ordinary Family" (OK, but totally cancelled) and "The Cape" (diabolical, and thankfully also cancelled), I was somewhat surprised to learn that there was another "what if real people had powers" TV show on the block.

And so we have "Alphas", where a middle aged, experienced professor leads a team of young people with superpowers on missions to protect the world (or America, which in TV terms, is the world). So far, so X-Men right? Err...right. Wish I could say that it's not that, but it seems that making a carbon copy of X-Men is exactly what the producers are aiming for. Sure it's more grounded in reality than the comic, but the premise is identical.

On the plus side, it does have David Strathairn as said professor. He's clearly taken some time out from wishing us "Goodnight and Good Luck" to make some cash through a "sell-out" TV show. And good for him I say. God knows, I'd sell out if it was me.

As for "Alphas", I'll give it a few more before I pass judgement.

Quizzed to death

Another Monday, another quiz night.


This time we came fourth (again). Fail.


On average we seem to be getting worse not better, although the fact there wasn't a film round did hurt us a lot.


Still I got a question about Dick Turpin right, so it can't be all bad.


The next one's not until December, so here's hoping there's a Christmas round. As, I may have mentioned once or twice before, I do love Christmas...

Through the Ringer

So I'm still persevering with Ringer, primarily because it means that I get to keep make puns based around the word "Ringer".

Three episodes in and it's just holding my interest, however with The Walking Dead starting back now it may fall off the radar. I'm beginning to find Sarah Michelle Gellar annoying, which is a shame as I really liked Buffy. Plus, I can't quite understand why Hornblower (and he is Hornblower, except when he's Mr Fantastic) has put up with her all this time.

And then there's the ending epilogues, which each week sees the "evil" twin taking phone calls in Paris only to tell the person on the other line "she's ruining THE PLAN. We must KILL HER." It's beginning to turn into a real life version of Inspector Gadget. If "Evil" twin starts screaming "I'll get you next time Bridget!" I'm out right there.

That's not true, that'd probably pull me back in.

Jurassic Classic

So I was fairly ambivalent about "Terra Nova". On the one hand it was billed as LOST meets Jurassic Park, which are two things I like. On the other it did look a bit like Dinotopia, and it had the guy from the pretty dire American remake of "Life on Mars" in the lead. The good news is he's much better in this.

I've now watched four episodes, and whilst I'm a little concerned they're going to drag out the overarching story for an extremely protracted length of time, so far it's interesting enough to keep me involved.

Sure, the guy from Avatar is playing a nicer version of his character from Avatar. Sure the fact it's got kids and teenagers in it means it could be a little too "family" and not edgy enough. Sure the teenage boy's love interest is INCREDIBLY annoying. But it's got charm (and CGI Dinosaurs) so I'll stick with it for a bit.

Plus on a personal note, I think all of the British characters are actually played by Brits, which I always prefer.

Quote of the Week

This week's "Quote of the Week" came from my friend Jen (who had plied me with wine and was responsible for the Singstar travesty I mentioned yesterday).

For some reason, several of us were involved in a drunken conversation that had turned to the subject of Joss Stone. Jen abruptly interupted with the following: 

"I want to take Joss Stone's face and smash it into Keira Knightley".

If that's not an amazing image for a Saturday morning, I don't know what is.  

Would the real Awesome Wez please sit down

So last weekend, after several glasses of wine, it was decided that it was Singstar time.

Now I'll set my stall out early by saying I'm a better rapper than I am a singer, and I'm frankly not a very good rapper. Yet despite this, after several drinks I seem to think I'm Freddie Mercury reincarnated. Without all the drugs and gay sex...well only on weekends.

My problem is that I sing off key (which is pretty much the problem for all bad singers, right?) Normally, if I decide to do Karaoke I can get away with it somewhat by singing loudly with confidence, almost tricking people into thinking I have a better voice than I do. However, there's no tricking Singstar. Stupid machine.

Hence my friends were treated to my William Shatner version of "Walking in Memphis". Spoken word is the way forward.

Burn baby burn

The thing I like about Burn Notice (besides the fact that it's got THE Bruce Campbell in it), is that it's episodic and an easy watch.

Whilst there's a different ongoing story-arc every season, you can watch one episode and know that whoever Michael's client is, they'll have a happy ending and the bad guys will get punished.

In a world full of Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire and The Walking Dead (all of which I love but require diligent watching), it's nice to have some light, casual entertainment.

Let's just Step back

So after all is said and done, I'm actually rooting for Steps.


Well Faye and Lee who seemed to come across the best in the documentary. They both actually seemed really likeable, even if Lee did seem to enjoy punishing H a bit too much. But hey, revenge is something I can respect.


Claire didn't seem to show enough remorse about it for my mind, and Lisa was too quick to fall back into old habits of arguing about who was singing what song. And H, well he was less annoying than he was 15 years ago.


Can't believe I've blogged about Steps twice now. Apologies to all who found this too mainstream - I'll return to esoteric musings about comic books tomorrow.

Have I mentioned the book?

In case I haven't mentioned it, I currently have a book out.


A couple of people have said that they would like to download "A Nightmare at the Movies" but can't as they don't have a Kindle...


Have no fear, the answer is at hand!


You can download a Kindle app for your iPhone/iPad/iPod touch/Android phone or you can download the Kindle Reader for your PC or Mac (all of this is free)!


Instructions for downloading to your PC or Mac can be found here.


Enjoy!

Dead Ringer

So after watching episode two of "Ringer" we've decided to give it one more before we pass final judgement.

I can't work out if the story is going to be enough to carry an entire series, let along multiple series.

So far, I'm thinking no, but we'll see.

A Game For Thrones

After my post the other day, I just wanted to point out that I do know that the corect title of Book 4 of "A Song of Ice and Fire" is "A Feast for Crows". The reason I keep caling it "A Feast of Crows", is because all of the earlier books had an of in the title:

"A Game of Thrones"
"A Clash of Kings"
"A Storm of Swords"

I just like things to follow patterns. Maybe that's just the OCD talking...

Step into the groove

I’m somewhat worried by the way that the “Step Reunion” documentary has completely sucked me in.

I was too old to be a fan when they first came out (and let’s face it, their music was pretty crap), but it’s impossible to have been alive in the late nineties and early noughties without being aware of just how massive a cultural phenomenon they were.

Well it seems that they’re still going to be singing the same old mediocre generic pop, except now there’s an added element of nostalgia to it all. Maybe they’ll even let Lee sing some lines.

All in all, I can’t say that they don’t make music like that anymore because they clearly do.

Oh and Lisa Scott Lee seems to have some weird face stuff going on now. Just saying.

Clashing Kings

I am a massive geek. If you didn’t know that you probably won’t be reading my blog anyway. However my geekiness has scaled to new heights this week with the sheer excitement that I’m instilled with over the casting decisions of Game of Thrones season two, which, as I may have mentioned once or twice, is the best show on TV.

For those of you who haven’t cheated (like me) and started reading the George R. R. Martin books that are already in print, I won’t spoil anything by revealing plot details. What I will say is this:

• Stannis looks great
• I’m really excited about Davos, as I thought Liam Cunningham was ace in the hugely underrated “Outcasts”
• Melissandre and Ygritte both look the part, which is especially cool for me as Ygritte is one of my favourite characters
• Craster and Gilly look almost exactly as I imagined them
• Brienne is way too pretty (I hope they ugly her up)
• Balon and Asha (or whatever they’ve renamed her to) aren’t quite what I pictured, but let’s see

Oh and Margaery Tyrell’s eyes are oddly small in her head. It makes her look like a crafty ferret.

I can’t believe there’s still about six months until this is going to hit our screens. At least I have the books...nearly finished a Feast of Crows now...

Your number’s up

It says something about “What’s Your Number” that I saw it two weeks ago and am only just posting the review.

Riding on the post-Bridesmaids wave of female led comedy, this rom-com sees Ana Faris realise that after having slept with 20 guys she now falls into a magazine’s bracket of women who will never get married. Through a fairly contrived set of circumstances she teams up with Chris Evans (not being Captain America this time) to try and track down her all of her exes in the hopes that one will now be right for her.

It’s a shame that this was filmed before Bridesmaids and released after it, as they both have the same joke in the opening scene. And the comparisons to Bridesmaids (which I have reviewed before) don’t stop there. As with Bridesmaids there are some funny moments (though not as many) and the film falls apart in the last thirty minutes. Maybe it’s because that’s when it goes down the rom-com cliché, but as with Bridesmaids the ending left me cold.

Chris Evans is largely there for women to look at, but I won’t complain as Ana Faris (who is quirkily attractive) runs around in her underwear for a lot of the film. Evans doesn’t do much, and the numerous comedy cameos as Faris’ exes don’t last long enough. The real star is of course Faris, who once again proves her comedy chops, and shows herself to be an extremely good physical comedienne – which is no mean feat.

I found the cop out ending a bit too convenient, and it almost washed over the moral that people should love you for who you are. All in all it’s not terrible, it’s not great but it’s better than expected.

Geeking Out

So yesterday the first full trailer for The Avengers came out. 


I was waiting with baited breath (as I'm sure all were all geeks everywhere).


Whilst I'm sure that it could have been more, just seeing Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, The Hulk, Nick Fury, Hawkeye and Black Widow sharing the screen was enough for me. There wasn't too much hinted at a villain apart from Loki, however The Skrulls seem to be the popular theory.


There were some great lines from Robert Downey's Tony Stark, my favourite of which being "Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled, and I'm a huge fan of how you lose control and turninto an enormous, green rage monster." Awesome.


Bring on May 2012.

Ringer Ringer Roses

I'm undecided about the new Sarah Michelle Gellar vehicle "Ringer". I've only watched the first episode though so am willing to give it a chance...if I can get past the awful Green-screening in some of the shots...


And it IS awful.


Plus it's weird to see Buffy not being Buffy. But that's my problem...not the show's.

Red Riding Hood 2

Further to my notes on “Red Riding Hood” yesterday, I’d also like to highlight the crushing disappointment of seeing Gary Oldman (my pick for this year’s BAFTA for Best Actor) stooping to such lows after the highs of “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” - in my mind one of the best films of the year. Hey, I guess everyone’s got to pay the mortgage.

Also, I find Amanda Seyfried kinda weird to look at. She has fish eyes.

Just Saying.

Hoodwinked

Further to my ongoing complaint about the ‘Twilightification’ of everything we hold dear in society; I have now seen this permeate into fairy tales.

“Red Riding Hood” is the ‘gothic reimagining’ of the classic children’s story, with Gary Oldman playing a devout preacher, Amanda Seyfried playing the crimson covered heroine, and lots of c-list television stars popping up for bit parts.

It’s so Twilight that there’s even a love triangle, with one of the boys Red is in love with being “wrong for her”. Cue lots of brooding and sorrowful glances. Oh and the Wolf is now a Werewolf, because…well they’re kinda popular with Team Jacob, right?

Unsurprisingly it’s not very good, however if I was a pre-pubescent girl who was missing her Twilight fix, it would probably be like methadone for me.
  

From good to bad

Yesterday I was trumpeting “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” and saying how much I enjoyed it. Now to the other end of the spectrum.

After putting it off for ages, I finally watched “The Last Airbender”, which has been sitting in my planner for months. Wow, it’s bad.

I generally like M Night Shyamalan (before “The Happening” anyway, that was poor), and “Signs” is, in my opinion, shamefully underrated. This however, is poorly executed, boring and nonsensical. It feels like there was another hours worth of film which has been trimmed down to montages and voiceovers. The result is a number of characters you don’t care about so there’s no emotional resonance when they’re in peril.

The only high note (which is only funny in Britain) comes when one character utters the line “You need to be a bender”. Juvenile, I know.

Epically bad.

Five Stars

“Super 8” finally has competition.

I saw “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” the other night and now there’s another five star film that’s been released this year. I won’t give a plot synopsis in case I accidently spoil anything, but it’s a brilliant film, filled with gripping performances and palpable tension.

Gary Oldman is outstanding (and I would expect to definitely be in line for a BAFTA) and is ably supported by a who’s who of British acting talent including John Hurt, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, Toby Jones, Mark Strong, Benedict Cumberbatch and Kathy Burke.

Like I say, I don’t want to spoil anything, but I can’t recommend it enough – go and see it.

What are you still doing here? Go!

Hammer Time

Another day, another movie starring someone from “Game of Thrones”. After seeing Cersei Lannister in “The Broken” earlier this week it was now the turn of Petyr “LittleFinger” Baelish (Aidan Gillen) to star in low budget Hammer Horror “Wake Wood”.

Gillen and his wife have recently lost their daughter in an animal attack, and relocate to start their lives over in the country village of Wake Wood. However, it’s not long before they discover that the villagers know a way to bring the dead back to life for a short period of time...

So far, so “Pet Cemetery”. And unfortunately the problem with that comparison is that the film never gets anywhere near as good as the book that the central conceit is based on. Gillen is good, as is Eva Birthistle playing his wife, and it’s always good to see Timothy Spall popping up. But ultimately, this isn’t great.

On a side note, “Game of Thrones”, which is still for my mind the best TV series of the year, is being repeated on Sky Atlantic from Sunday. Definitely worth a watch if you missed it first time around.

Return of the Fringe

It doesn’t seem like too long ago that I was extolling the virtues of Fringe, my current favourite Sci-Fi show. And now it’s back for Season 4.

Having just caught up with the first episode, it looks like it’s going a slightly different direction this year, and I’d guess the crux of the first part of the series is going to be the hunt for Peter. Glad to see this sides’ Agent Lee joining the team, and I like the intentional Ret-con of Walter’s relationship to the team without Peter. At least it gives the often underused Astrid more to do.

The show kicked off with Amber/Orange titles, and is still the only show I watch that gets me excited about a different coloured credit sequence.

Weirdly enough, seeing Olivia and Fauxlivia (both played by Anna Torv) in the same scene solidified for me how much more I fancy Fauxlivia. Not sure if it’s because she’s a red head or slightly evil. Either way, not sure what it says about me.

Pretty Broken

Weird film the other night in the form of “The Broken”, starring Game of Thrones’ Lena Headey as a Radiologist who begins to se evil Doppelgangers of herself and her family.

It’s a fairly underplayed horror, until things escalate QUICKLY in a quite graphic shower scene.

An interesting film, but not quite as compelling or as scary as it thinks it is.

Still I'm a supporter of British films and low budget horror so glad I checked it out.

Not a Belieber...

As mentioned the other day, here is me punching Justin Beiber in the face. Unfortunately, it's just a wax work.

One of these men is an intenational teen

heart throb, with legions of adoring fans.

The other got punched in the face.

A Nightmare at the Movies

It’s with immense pride that I can now say that my first novel “A Nightmare at the Movies” is now available to download from Amazon.

It can be downloaded for the Kindle, the iPad, the iPhone, the iPod Touch, Macs or PCs.

It’s currently selling at the bargain price of £1.71 on Amazon.co.uk, $2.99 on Amazon.com and €2.99 on Amazon.de.

Please take a minute to pay the small charge and download the book. You’d be supporting a struggling author and doing me a huge kindness.

Thanks all

Killing Me Softly

Thanks to the greatness that is my Sky Plus box, I've managed to save the entire first season of "The Killing" up and am now working through it as if it was a boxed set.

I'm about halfway through and already have my theories as to who killed Rosie Larson (I'm just hoping it wasn't "society"). So far it's been tense, intriguing and well-plotted, with some excellent cliffhangers to end a number of episodes. The standout performance so far has to be Michelle Forbes as Rosie's grieving Mum. She was great in "True Blood", excellent in "In Treatment" and I even remember when she was Ensign Ro in "Star Trek: The Next Generation".

All in all, a good season so far, I just hope it keeps it up...