Just an advanced warning...tomorrow marks the first of December.
At that point I will become an insufferable, festive, Christmasphile.
It really is the most wonderful time of the year.
You have been warned.
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Breaking Dawn
Yesterday I mentioned "Breaking Dawn".
Alternative movie pitch based on that title:
"Dawn is a militant terrorist who has planted a dirty bomb carrying weaponised smallpox in a school somewhere in the US. Detectives Jack Baines and Frank Colt have just six hours to interegate her and "break" her, so they can find out the bomb's location and defuse it, before all hell breaks loose."
I just think that sounds a lot more interesting than glittery vampires.
Alternative movie pitch based on that title:
"Dawn is a militant terrorist who has planted a dirty bomb carrying weaponised smallpox in a school somewhere in the US. Detectives Jack Baines and Frank Colt have just six hours to interegate her and "break" her, so they can find out the bomb's location and defuse it, before all hell breaks loose."
I just think that sounds a lot more interesting than glittery vampires.
Monday, 28 November 2011
Twi As I Might
So, Twilight 4A has hit cinemas and now my Twitter feed and Facebook page are full of comments about it.
As you may know from previous rants, I'm not a fan of Twilight, nor of the Twilightification of EVERYTHING else that it has affected.
So I have a message for any woman (or man) over the age of 17, who is going to watch or has already been to see "Breaking Dawn":
I hope that you enjoy it and that it lives up to your expectations. This isn't a joke or the start of a rant; if you genuinely find Twilight entertaining then I hope this new film is enjoyable for you. However, as you're watching a film based on a series of books primarily aimed at eleven-year-old girls, you automatically forfeit any right to EVER judge me for reading comic books and watching cartoons. And I will throw it back in your face if you ever try to.
Just saying.
As you may know from previous rants, I'm not a fan of Twilight, nor of the Twilightification of EVERYTHING else that it has affected.
So I have a message for any woman (or man) over the age of 17, who is going to watch or has already been to see "Breaking Dawn":
I hope that you enjoy it and that it lives up to your expectations. This isn't a joke or the start of a rant; if you genuinely find Twilight entertaining then I hope this new film is enjoyable for you. However, as you're watching a film based on a series of books primarily aimed at eleven-year-old girls, you automatically forfeit any right to EVER judge me for reading comic books and watching cartoons. And I will throw it back in your face if you ever try to.
Just saying.
Sunday, 27 November 2011
If you smell...
I'm a lapsed wrestling fan.
It's a bit like being a lapsed Catholic, in that you still believe in the underlying principles of it all, but you just don't go to church every week. You just make time for the major celebrations.
I still enjoy wrestling, but I don't have the time, or frankly the inclination, to watch Raw and Smackdown every week. I have friends that do, who fill me in on what's going on every so often, and as the plots are less complicated than the average Point Horror novel (nineties reference), I'm always more than comfortable that I can get up to speed before a PPV.
And I do enjoy the PPVs. I'd never watch them alone, but as a social activity with friends (who are all equally geeky and are big enough fans to be able to be critical) it's a fun way to spend a Monday night. Plus we tend to get pizza.
So on Monday night I found myself watching Survivor Series, in no small part because The Rock was going to be wrestling again for the first time since he went "Hollywood" five years ago. Now, when I was REALLY into wrestling, The Rock was hands down one of my favourites. It wasn't his wrestling, it was that he was funny and his promos were always incredibly entertaining. And now he's back, I'm guessing because Vince McMahon threw an obscene amount of money his way.
And he didn't disappoint. His promo was great and he could still keep up with the younger guys in the ring (he's only in his late thirties after all). His next scheduled match is at Wrestlemania, and based on this performance, I'll be setting that Monday night aside.
Pizzas at the ready.
It's a bit like being a lapsed Catholic, in that you still believe in the underlying principles of it all, but you just don't go to church every week. You just make time for the major celebrations.
I still enjoy wrestling, but I don't have the time, or frankly the inclination, to watch Raw and Smackdown every week. I have friends that do, who fill me in on what's going on every so often, and as the plots are less complicated than the average Point Horror novel (nineties reference), I'm always more than comfortable that I can get up to speed before a PPV.
And I do enjoy the PPVs. I'd never watch them alone, but as a social activity with friends (who are all equally geeky and are big enough fans to be able to be critical) it's a fun way to spend a Monday night. Plus we tend to get pizza.
So on Monday night I found myself watching Survivor Series, in no small part because The Rock was going to be wrestling again for the first time since he went "Hollywood" five years ago. Now, when I was REALLY into wrestling, The Rock was hands down one of my favourites. It wasn't his wrestling, it was that he was funny and his promos were always incredibly entertaining. And now he's back, I'm guessing because Vince McMahon threw an obscene amount of money his way.
And he didn't disappoint. His promo was great and he could still keep up with the younger guys in the ring (he's only in his late thirties after all). His next scheduled match is at Wrestlemania, and based on this performance, I'll be setting that Monday night aside.
Pizzas at the ready.
Saturday, 26 November 2011
Stoppable
"Unstoppable" is a complete misnomer. It's about a speeding runaway train that's heading towards a populated city centre, and only Denzel Washington and Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) can stop it.
But without spoiling the end, you know that one way or another it has to stop. Ergo, it isn't "Unstoppable".
Grammatical pedantry aside, I enjoyed it more than I expected to. I think Tony Scott is an extremely competent action director and the plot gripped me more than a story where the bad guy is a train should have. Both leads are likeable in their own way, and as the film is on about 90 mins it feels a bit like a 90's throwback, which of course I liked.
Worth a watch if you're bored one evening, but don't go out of your way.
But without spoiling the end, you know that one way or another it has to stop. Ergo, it isn't "Unstoppable".
Grammatical pedantry aside, I enjoyed it more than I expected to. I think Tony Scott is an extremely competent action director and the plot gripped me more than a story where the bad guy is a train should have. Both leads are likeable in their own way, and as the film is on about 90 mins it feels a bit like a 90's throwback, which of course I liked.
Worth a watch if you're bored one evening, but don't go out of your way.
Friday, 25 November 2011
Roomies
Now I've mentioned The Room before.
I won't go into it in great detail again, as you can find the full dissection here. However, after watching it a second time on Sunday whilst slightly hungover (it loses nothing on second viewing), it was pointed out to me by a friend what's wrong with it. Apart from the fact that Tommy Wiseau padded out 60 minutes of film with 30 minutes of establishing shots, the whole film is like it's been created by someone who has never watched a film before. Sure, he's away of the abstract concept of what a movie should be, he just has no practical knowledge.
It's still awesome though. If you don't like it, then as far as I'm concerned, you can drop off the Earth. That's a promise.
I won't go into it in great detail again, as you can find the full dissection here. However, after watching it a second time on Sunday whilst slightly hungover (it loses nothing on second viewing), it was pointed out to me by a friend what's wrong with it. Apart from the fact that Tommy Wiseau padded out 60 minutes of film with 30 minutes of establishing shots, the whole film is like it's been created by someone who has never watched a film before. Sure, he's away of the abstract concept of what a movie should be, he just has no practical knowledge.
It's still awesome though. If you don't like it, then as far as I'm concerned, you can drop off the Earth. That's a promise.
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Whodunnit
I spent Saturday night getting drunk a taking part in a murder mystery game. It was great fun, party because 7/8ths of us were drunk and partly because everyone got into the spirit of the game.
My character was a suave, debonair businessman, but as it was set in the 1900s I shaved my beard off and gave myself a tiny pencil moustache.
I also used enough hair gel that the next morning it was still in place. It was like a motorcycle helmet.
I also learnt that a French accent and a Belgian accent aren't the same thing. And regardless, I can't do either anyway.
Photo below of me looking suave (or at least, that's what I kept telling myself).
My character was a suave, debonair businessman, but as it was set in the 1900s I shaved my beard off and gave myself a tiny pencil moustache.
I also used enough hair gel that the next morning it was still in place. It was like a motorcycle helmet.
I also learnt that a French accent and a Belgian accent aren't the same thing. And regardless, I can't do either anyway.
Photo below of me looking suave (or at least, that's what I kept telling myself).
It's like James Bond.........'s overweight, less attractive waiter.
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