Green with mediocrity

So I finally saw "Green Lantern" the other night. Where to begin?

Let me start by saying that I didn't hate it - I think some of the reviews it's been getting have been overly harsh. That said, it is thoroughly predictable and doesn't offer anything new or exciting.

My main problem with it(as I knew it would be) is the over-the-top CGI. It got to the point when watching him breathe was really annoying. And when you're getting annoyed at the sight of a CGI character's unrealistic breathing, then there's something wrong with the film.

And what's wrong with the film is that it's actually quite boring. Beyond the predictable story-arc of the main character, there's the manner in which he kills the final boss, which is so telegraphed I actually groaned when he did it. Plus the mid-credits "sting" happened EXACTLY how I had just told my friend it would. Now obviously, making a by-the-numbers superhero movie is inherently going to be predictable, but after we've reached the genre-defining heights of Iron Man and The Dark Knight I've just come to expect some originality in these films.

Ryan Reynolds makes for strong lead as the Emerald Avenger, but I do think that part of his star power is also part of his problem - I always feel like I'm watching Ryan Reynolds and never the character he's playing. Blake Lively does her best to flesh out an extraordinarily one-dimensional character, and at least manages to give Carol Ferris a little of the feistiness that Lively displayed in The Town. Her and Reynolds have absolutely no chemistry though, which I'm reliably informed (by Joey from Friends) mean that they're "doing it" in real life.

Peter Sarsgaard is great as Hector Hammond, although he portrays his downfall so well that you're feeling sorry for him by the time he's in full-on villain mode. Mark Strong gives a -ahem- strong performance as Sinestro, making him just arrogant enough that if we do get to GL2 we'll believe his descent into villainy. Angela Bassett turning up as Amanda Waller suggests that if they do end up making some more of these "second tier" DC hero movies, then they may be a bigger over-arching universe. Let's face it, DC really need to catch up with Marvel in that respect.

There were some high points to the film. The first training battle between Kilowog/Jordan/Sinestro is entertaining and the only time where they fully realise the potential of what the power rings can do. Also (and this may be a British thing) but the guy who play's Jordan's best mate looks just like Moss from the IT Crowd (not Richard Ayoade, but the character Moss), which meant that whenever he was on screen I kept expecting him to say "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." Alas, that doesn't happen.

So overall, it's not really that good. I hope it does well though, as I think DC are using this as the watermark for bringing other characters like The Flash or Wonder Woman to the big screen. Which I really hope they do. There's only so many times that you can reboot Batman and Superman before I'll stop watching.

Ah, who am I kidding?

In Blackest Day...wait...

After a conversation in the pub last week I've been racking my brains to remember the Green Lantern's motto. Now, for a comic book geek this should be easy right? Except I've never been a particular fan of The Green Lantern. When it comes to DC, I'm all about Batman. I love the Green Arrow, can handle some Superman, quite like the Flash and can even dig Wonder Woman. But Green Lantern always left me a little cold.

Maybe it's having the ring that you can use to manifest anything you can imagine and not using it for personal gain (I always said I'd be a better villain than hero), or maybe it's the characters. Hal Jordan always just seemed annoying, John Stewart is as bland as beige paint on a Tuesday, Kyle Rayner is just a whiny bitch and Kilowog sounds like an STD. And Guy Gardner is possibly the character I like least in comics. So until "Blackest Night" (which was pretty cool) I'd never paid them that much attention.

But of course I'll go and see the film (just to know) and will need to know the motto if only to impress (read: bore), whomever I drag out with me. So here goes:

In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night, No Evil Shall Escape My Sight.
Let All Who Worship Evil's Might. Beware My Power, Green Lantern's Light.

Got it. And it's only taken me about five days.

And yes all words do need to be capitalised, because it's a motto (that's how it works right? Don't ask me, it's not as if I'm a writer...)

Anyway now I feel smug and superior and even more of a loser than I normally do. Sometimes achievement really is a double edged sword...which is also something that Hal Jordan never had the imagination to use on Sinestro.

Stupid Power Ring.